


now i just sit in silence

by hanleiasolo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, but it's fine, everyone is emo after ben becomes kylo ren, except han apparently, we're fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7251394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanleiasolo/pseuds/hanleiasolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anger was the third stage of the grieving process. Anger was a human emotion. Anger was natural.</p>
            </blockquote>





	now i just sit in silence

_ Anger. _

It was a word Han has heard before. It was a word he has experienced a million times. It was a word that made him the man he is today. It was a word that ruined his life and halted his grief. It was a word that he regrets. He hated the word. He hated what it had done to himself. He hated what it had done to the others around him. 

But he loved _her_. He loved Leia.

When she had self-proclaimed her anger, his feelings towards it fizzled away. She was angry. She had a right to be angry. His feelings towards anger didn’t matter when it came to her. He should not try to tell her to not be angry. That’s what only made her angrier. 

In anger, he was at his lowest of lows. In anger, he had done destructive things to people he didn’t mean to hurt. People had accepted him in his time of anger. It was time for him to do the same. 

He tried to hold on as best as he could. He would not float away in the rivers of her angry tears. He would not duck when anger tried to push him away. He would welcome anger with a heavy heart into his arms and let it rest there until it was gone. 

Anger was not him. Anger was not her. Anger was separate from who they were as people. Only something unbelievably tragic could have created anger. That was something that had happened. That was something they needed to accept. 

Anger was the third stage of the grieving process. Anger was a human emotion. Anger was natural. He did not like what anger brought out in people. He did not like the screaming it created. He did not like the crying that came with it. He did not like the violence that abruptly came out. He did not like the horrible words that were said. He did not know how anger - how these actions - could be considered grieving. He did not know how screaming and crying and perfect storms could be helpful to anyone. It was not helpful to him. It had pushed people away from him. 

Her anger, Han had noticed, had passed quicker than his did. His stayed with him even now. It remained quietly inside of him, begging to come out. He had trained it to stay down. He had trained it to hide away. Things were better that way. 

Leia's anger had evaporated like it was never there. She had moved on with her grief. If she could do it, why couldn’t he? He wondered why his anger clung to him like static. He just could not let go of it. Or maybe his anger could not let go of himself. 

_ Anger. _

It was a word that ruined his son. It was a word that ruined his relationships with people he cared about. It was a word that ruined his life. But, with anger comes forgiveness, and that was what he needed the most.

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely didn't have this in mind when I first wrote this piece. I like where it went, though.  
> Anyways, thank you sm for reading I really appreciate it. Han and Leia are my faves and I'm glad I could write about them.  
> If anyone wants to follow my tumblr @falloutswift that would be really cool. I post inspo for my stories there along with my endless trash blogging.  
> Title and series title are both Twenty One Pilots related.


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